- ILLUMINATING
The sun broke out at midpoint during the SPEAK OUT for Safety. The rain stopped before neighbors and anti-violence advocates started sharing visions for a safe city, and started again a half hour after we packed up. It was a great day! - LSJ staff Becky Shink photographed participants--and fabulously! Check out the LSJ Photo Gallery of the event.
And soon to be published: materials from the SPEAK OUT! - We'll "sound off" about our safety goals (responses we're receiving, brick walls we're hitting, ideas for more action) and strategize next steps to 2008.
During this gathering, a talking circle will take place. Also, there will be small and large group discussions.
City officials have been invited to join us for listening and asking questions.
UPDATE 2 Oct.: Chief Alley confirms that an LPD rep is coming!
SAVE THE DATE
And we're keeping the dialogue open! On Nov. 11, from 3-5pm at the Gone Wired Cafe, residents and community groups gather for the Safety Union.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS DISPLAY
Stop by the Gone Wired Cafe and check out the DVA Month display! Community Calendars with poetry and neighborhood events are available.
26 comments:
The best thing to do if you want to reduce violence in society is to not beat your children. People mostly form in the formative years. Some people think that violence is only wrong when it happens to adults but they will gleefully backhand their child as a means of character development. I disagree with that.
Chivalrous men resist the image, but it’s a problem that has become so pervasive that we must summon up the courage to face it – an epidemic of women who pummel their husbands and boyfriends.
A recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that among physically aggressive couples, 71% of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were female.
And last year Renee McDonald of Baylor University published a study in the Journal of Family Psychology with almost identical results.
What’s going on, ladies?
The problem isn’t just gals who clean their boyfriends’ clock in a drunken rage. These high-testosterone females abuse their men and then come clean with a swaggering braggadocio.
Consider superstar singer Amy Winehouse. Married to Blake Fielder-Civil, she now admits that she uses him as a “punch-bag.” “I’ll beat up Blake when I’m drunk. … If he says one thing I don’t like then I’ll chin him,” she brags.
I recently came across a website called Jezebel.com. Jezebel is one of those tell-all websites run by women who flaunt tattoos that declare, “I know what I want and I know how to get it.”
Recently a Jezebel editor named Slut Machine posted a cheeky piece called, “Have you Ever Beat up a Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have.” Let’s put it this way — the column brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “female empowerment.”
Ms. Machine confided that one her co-editors had overheard her boyfriend flirting on the phone, “so she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neck” Another smacked a guy when he tenderly revealed to her “he thought he had breast cancer.” As an afterthought she wrote, “that one made us laugh really hard.”
[http://jezebel.com/gossip/domestic-disturbances/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have-294383.php]
I was certain that such brazen admissions would draw howls of protest from persons who know full well that “there’s no excuse for domestic violence.” Well, this is what they said:
Probationer announced to her on-line Sisterhood, “Yeah, I've punched the shit out of a guy. But I don’t like to brag.”
Fromthetulleshed bragged, “I’ve had many satisfying dreams where I beat up my ex. If I saw him again, I don’t think I’d be able to restrain myself.”
Some thought assaulting a guy was downright hilarious: “I bounced an alarm clock off my husband’s head from across the room once. I haven’t been able to find a decent alarm clock since,” lamented Kwindsorfish.
And Sparkle proved you don’t have to be physical to be abusive: “I try so so SO hard to do the sitting silently trick. … But I just couldn’t keep myself from laughing after like a minute thirty of ‘ignoring’ him. It just makes me too giddy to think that I can have that much power by doing absolutely nothing at all.”
When it came to the fact that female abusers often use weapons or the element of surprise to compensate for their smaller size, the women seemed clueless.
Joan Crawford revealed, “My Ex told me his former lover beat him. I was a bit startled when I met her. He is 6’3” about 195 lbs.; she was 5’ and appeared to weigh literally 98 lbs. Battered men? The question is, are these men really physically afraid?”
Creative excuses were de rigueur. Goupie reasoned, “I slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it.” Azi’s comment, “I have to say I think he may have had it coming,” was the most common pretext.
And Crocodile Tears of remorse were shed by the bucket-full. Washionfore confessed, “I have slapped a man down before, quite hard, but I love him so I felt bad because, well, it’s abusive.”
Actress Sally Field recently received an Emmy Award for best actress. During her acceptance speech she boasted that women are of the peace-loving kind, crudely shouting, “And, let’s face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no [expletive deleted] wars in the first place.”
But based on the gleeful comments of the naughty Jezebel girls, somehow I don’t think Miss Field’s act is ready for prime time.
Mexigogue and gary - Amazing that you bother to drag down efforts to make the world we live in a safer place. The comments reveal yourselves and nothing about people stepping up to make a difference.
I'm actually on your side Melissa. The moral philosophy I adhere to is Ayn Rand's Rational Objectivism. Ayn Rand was opposed people using force as a means of problem resolution. Initiating violence is bad and self defense is therefore a human right. Just because I characterize demonstrators as hippies doesn't mean that I'm on the side of the abusers. Oh and by the way I actually like your site and your comments on the LSJ forums and I've bookmarked your blog. I think you're nice, so there!
Mexigogue - thanks for the clarification. It's much appreciated.
What's with the icon, though??
Cheers.
I drew that on the computer about a year or so ago to use as my icon. I forgot I had it. I didn't actually intend to post on a violence forum with that picture. There, I am changing it!
MG - Thanks for the icon update! Much appreciate.
Most of the calls from women made to domestic violence services every year come not from women in need of protection, but from women who are actively aggressing against their male partners. As such, the domestic violence figures reflect mostly the amount of violence being directed at men
No-one actually knows the true figures for domestic violence. The official figures are virtually meaningless in that they derive mostly from incidents that would paint us all as 'domestically violent'.
The legal reality, however, is that domestic violence is now largely defined by the woman's attitude to whatever she claims to be experiencing at the time. And the problem with this - apart from the sheer unfairness of it all from the point of view of the man - is that her attitude is not something that is objectively definable, and neither is it 'fixed' - in the sense that a woman's attitudes can change and fluctuate almost as much as the wind. Indeed, in the USA, some 20 million women experience clinically severe emotional disturbances every single month through PMS, and about 5 million have significant personality disorders.
TookRP:
Wow! It looks this blog inspired you to join Blogger - or to create a new acct. to cover your other track/s.
Can't say I find any basis to your claims. Feel free to share your sources at any time.
Also, how about doing some homework and comparing men's stats about depression - as well as violent crimes. Most appreciated.
Best wishes with any substance to back your bark.
I support gender equality not gender superiority.
The following article which appeared in the University of Connecticut Student Paper by a woman, Anna Blaise, and is titled "Domestic Violence: A Danger To Men And Women Alike"
An excerpt and link:
The term "domestic violence" is generally linked with violence against women in today's society. But what isn't usually thought of is the fact that men are victims of violence in relationships as well.
A recent study by Daniel J. Whitaker, Ph.D., Tadesse Haileyesus, M.S., Monica Swahn, Ph.D. and Linda S. Saltzman, Ph.D. of the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, showed that men and women can be violent in a relationship and that injury occurred more often than not when the violence was reciprocal.'
http://media.www.dailycampus.com/media/storage/paper340/news/2007/10/31/News/Domestic.Violence.A.Danger.To.Men.And.Women.Alike-3068483.shtml
Gary, Thanks for the link.
Not anywhere on this blog will you find a comment that states only women are victims of violence and domestic violence.
Calling attention to the fact that women are more often targets of domestic violence is not a statement that they are the only victims.
At last night's East Side Poetry Open Mic - Magdalena's Tea House - dedicated to STOP THE VIOLENCE, men and women poets read. One gentlemen and several women read as survivors of domestic violence.
I also am a proponent of equity. The fact that women specifically are hunted, though, as targets of violence does not claim gender superiority. I'm unclear how calling attention to this fact would ever be associated with such a claim.
It's So simple.
When blacks say it, it is their culture and their right.
When women say it, it is strong and independent and their right.
When whites say it, it is racist and bigotry.
When white men say it, it is sexist and bigotry.
It's so simple.
Gary, your fallacies even fail to address the matter I put to you. So here's a very basic resource about facts. claims, and arguments.
Domestic Violence
An abundance of scientific studies since 1975 - well over 130 studies in total - have provided an irrefutable amount of evidence to prove that 40%-50% of domestic violence is perpetrated by women. According to the various studies from 1975 until 1992, the amount of male perpetrated acts of severe violence against females happened to decline by 50%, while the amount of female perpetrated acts of severe violence against males remained consistent over that time. The contrasting patterns are most likely correlated to the mandatory arrest laws that were introduced in 1983, as such protocol ensured that the police were only allowed to enforce the legislation against the men who were accused of battery, while the female perpetrators of violence were offered impunity from the law act.
The legislation of the "Violence Against Women Act" in 1993 led to even more problems, as the protocol of the bill ensured that women were able to receive an even greater amount of legal impunity, while the men were no longer offered the legal rights that are SUPPOSED to be upheld at all times (I.E. The right to obtain a lawyer and avoid arrest and imprisonment until there is evidence to prove the accused party is guilty.)
Police Officers are trained by domestic violence consultants such as Anne O'Dell, who state that no more than 8% of arrestee's should be female. Based on this, females who perpetrate domestic violence are most often given a large degree of impunity from the law system, which is why the statistics that feminists release on domestic violence are fraudulent and unfounded. This report will provide an abundance of reliable statistics along with information about the various laws that are biased, sexist, immoral, non-civilized, and corrupt. Too be continued...
Gary - again, what's the source/s for this info? Needs to be verified to be taken into consideration.
Here is the full citation for the study you sourced via a college newspaper article -
“Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships with Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence” American Journal of Public Health. April 2007 (Vol. 97, No. 5, pp. 941-947). Daniel J. Whitaker, PhD; Tadesse Haileyesus, MS; Monica Swahn, PhD; Linda Saltzman, PhD.
Here is its abstract provided by the CDC; its Injury Center is apparently where the authors work:
“This paper examines the prevalence of reciprocal (i.e., both partners perpetrate) and non-reciprocal partner violence, and whether reciprocity is related to violence frequency and injury. Analysis of data revealed that almost 24% of all relationships had some violence, and half (49.7%) were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally violent relationships, females were the perpetrators in over 70% of the cases. Reciprocity was associated with more frequent violence among females but not males. Males were more likely to inflict injury than females. Context of violence (reciprocal vs. nonreciprocal) is a strong predictor of reported injury. Prevention approaches that address the escalation of partner violence may be needed to address reciprocal violence.”
Again, even with the abstract, without specific numbers about how many people took part in this study, none of my claims are challenged.
FYI - On The Injury Center of the CDC’s index page, these facts are listed with October as Domestic Violence Awareness month:
“Approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 14 men in the United States have been raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner during their lifetime.”
http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/
October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and the theme was "It's Time to Tell the Truth about Domestic Violence." And this year 10 organizations came together to assure the truth would ring loud and clear throughout the land.
During October these groups arranged for 1 gigantic billboard, did 2 days of lobbying, released 3 reports, participated in 4 rallies, issued 6 press releases, fostered the publication of 9 editorials, distributed information via flyers and displays 9 times, published 18 letters to the editor, and stimulated 22 articles and interviews.
WOW!!!
During the course of the campaign Fox News 2 in Detroit aired a segment on October 22 titled, "
Men Also Suffer from Domestic Violence." http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/myfox/pages/ContentDetail?contentId=4712816
The Christian Science Monitor (and many other newspapers) published letters to the editor on male victims: http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/1023/p08s01-cole.html
The blogosphere was buzzing, as well:
* Carol Lloyd - What's so Funny about Abusive Girlfriends?: http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2007/10/25/girlfriends/index.html
* Chris Norris - Women Who Hit Men: http://www.marieclaire.com/life/sex/advice/abusive-women
* Abusive Girlfriends: http://buzzfeed.com/buzz/Abusive_Girlfriends
To read a complete list of the activities of all the participating groups and activities, go to http://www.mediaradar.org/docs/Accomplishments_Oct_2007.pdf.
Thanks to all who participated in Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and who made sure the truth got out.
Gary-
It looks like you have enough verbage to start your own blog!
If you're unwilling to actually respond to my responses to your comments, I will begin to remove your comments.
I don't believe in censoring, so that's not what removal would be about. It would be because I also don't believe in spamming or trolling.
So step up to the plate or get off the field.
You asked for some statistics and sources. Here are some:
A scientific study from Bruce Heady and Dorothy Scott of the Melbourne University along with David De Vaus of the La Trobe University revealed the following statistics:
Per cent Assaulted By Their Partners In The Past 12 Months 1996/97. Survey of 804 men and 839 women
Male % are first followed by Female
Type of Assault
Slap, shake or scratch 5.1% 3.2%
Hit with fist, something in hand or thrown 4.1% 2.5%
Kicked 2.1% 1.4%
Any type of assault 5.7% 3.7%
Injury And Pain Due To Assaults (N=1643).
Type of Assualt Male Female
Injured, needed first aid 1.8% 1.2%
Needed treatment by doctor 1.5 % 1.1%
Called the police 1.3 1.7
All Information About The Scientific Study Produced By Bruce Heady and Dorothy Scott of the Melbourne University along with David De Vaus of the La Trobe University Was Originally Reported By http://www.australian-news.net/
A scientific study produced at the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire by Susan Steinmetz, Richard Gelles, and Murray Straus under grants given by the National Institute of Mental Health, all of whom were early advocates for battered women, reveal the following statistics:
Severe Assault - Confessions and Reports
Severe assault Category Results
Wives report they have been severely assualted by husband
22 per 1000
Wives report they have severely assaulted husband
59 per 1000
Husbands report they have been severely assualted by wife
32 per 1000
Husbands report they have severely assaulted wife
18 per 1000
Husband and wife both report wife has been assaulted
20 per 1000
Husband and wife both report husband has been assaulted
44 per 1000
All Information About The Scientific Study Produced At The Family Research Laboratory of The University of New Hampshire by Susan Steinmetz, Richard Gelles, and Murray Straus Under Grants Given By The National Institute of Mental Health. The Study Can Be Ordered From The University of New Hampshire, Just Ask For "Document V55"
A scientific study produced at the Manitoba Centre for Health Policy and Evaluation in Canada by Ms Reena Sommer in 1990 and 1992 revealed the following statistics:
Female Vs. Male Perpetrated Violence - as A Percentage Of All Respondents:
Type of Assualt Male Female
Threatened to throw an object 7.3% 14.9%
Threw an object at partner 4.6% 13.2%
Threw an object but not at partner 15.8% 23.6%
Pushed or grabbed partner 17.2% 19.8%
Slapped, punched or kicked partner 7.3% 15.8%
Used a weapon 0.9% 3.1%
Hope this is helpful
I think it's admirable that you don't take opposing comments off your blog. I am the same way with mine. I figure if I can't defend my own viewpoint then I'm not worth my salt. I would delete egregious ad homeneim attacks if that ever happened because that's not the same as an argument but strangely people rarely insult me although I try my best to be caustic. Have a good day :-)
I wish there was more focus on Violence against people regardless of gender. Why do we have to "genderize" everything.
At least some students are getting the message. an excerpt from the Purdue Student paper:
'Men are not always necessarily the initiators of domestic violence.
A recent study has shown that men and women commit acts of domestic violence at similar rates.
"Domestic violence is a human problem, not a gender problem," said Marc Angelucci, president of the Los Angeles chapter of the National Coalition of Free Men. "But unfortunately it has been misframed as a gender problem for decades by the media and by gender-driven political ideologies."'
Gary-
Get a grip. Gender inequity is too old of a thing that persists to try spinning it as something new. For instance,
* US women achieved the right to vote in the US in the 1920s.
* Our nation has yet to elect a woman president.
* Michigan's capital city of Lansing has yet to elect a woman mayor.
Gary-
You're done on my blog. Why? Because you're not interacting but posting ad nauseum monologues. I recommend that you start your own blog for that purpose.
Any future comments WILL be deleted.
I created my own blog
http://irategary.blogspot.com/
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